A Criminal Hero
by supersoniclink
Summary: Link , is he the hero of time, or the all mighty ruler of the Yoshi or is he hyperactive ? Does Link even remember what he's supposed to be looking for(probably not)and could someone explain who is Bozo!Chapter 5 is up after...a long while.R
1. Houston, Nintendo has a problem

_Ok this is my first story(well on anyways) I thought pretty hard to make up this story and its ok I think. let's get One thing straight I will tourture C.Falcon! STupid Falcon! IF you are a captain falcon fan, I will get you! PLease review!_

Disclaimer: I do not own any nintendo characters. sighs or the Capcom company.

"The Link master prevails again" shouted Link who had won over ice climbers and Samus. Link ,a Hyrulian, was feeling extremly lucky today. He felt he could do anything .

" You cheated " Cried Samus who was clinging on to a ledge, dangling for her life.

" I cheated? You almost hit me with that lethal laser cannon"

"Well, you put me and ice climbers at level 1! And then you bribed Ice climbers to lose"

" Um... I did it out of love" said Link trying to make up a good excuse.

" Sure. So when you hung Popo on top of the temple with nothing but his underwear on you were trying to say I Love you"

"Exactly."

"And when you" Link pulled Samus up of the ledge and covered Samus' mouth with duct tape.

"There shall be no talk about what happened to Nana. It was her idea not mine"

"MMMM!MUH" mumbled Samus.

"You know, duct tape looks good on you. Makes you seem slimer ,which reminds me, you need to lose some weight."

"Help! HELP" LInk looked up. It was Popo.

"Hey, Poo poo"

"It's Popo"

"Sure? You look like a Poo poo to me. "

"I'm sure.Now get me down from here."

" Down?"

"Yes, down"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! Get me down now!"

"Ok." Link pulled his bow and and arrow out. He aimed and fired. The arrow cut trough Popo's underwear ,leaving him with no clothes , and Popo fell down... downer... low... dangerously low... and he's...gone! Link watched every second of this heartwarming moment(well to Link it was heartwarming anyway) "Ha ha Sucker! That's what you get for messing with the master"

**2 days after the fight in the meeting room of Nintendo:**

Angry , screaming, swearing Nintendo characters filled the room of Nintendo. Outside other characters chanted "KILL LINK" Even the Pokemon were burning any Link -related objects.

"What do we do" asked Peach as she nervously paced around the room.

"I say we sell Link to the dreaded company that is Capcom" (no offense Capcom fans) shouted Fox with a fist full of rage.

"I say you grab him and I'll destroy him personally." said Ganondorf .

"No Ganondorf , remember no destroying people in broad daylight or on a full stomach." said Zelda wagging her finger at him.

"And Nintendo was just recovering from the Pikachu incedent." Said Peach.

"Oh , yeah. That was funny" laughed Ness.

"Maybe for you it was. I still have a scar, want to see" said Bowser.

"We are a-getting off-a topic. " said Mario ,the president of Nintendo.

" True, what do we do with Link? If we let him stay he'll destoy the company." said Fox. " Just like Link did to Popo."

" That was a good funeral. Especially because there was food." said Kirby drooling on his chair.

" And If that was not bad enough, Nana is so tramatized she can't even go to sleep without the sun shining and steel bars on her windows." said Zelda." I never knew Link could be that much of a criminal."

" I don't get it. What did Link do to Nana" asked Ness. Zelda leaned over and whispered into Ness' ear. Ness' eyes grew wide as Zelda finshed whispering." I think I'm going to be sick."

"He's not that bad." said Zelda.

"Now I know I'm going to be sick."said Ness.

" Say where is Link anyways" ,asked Peach.

"I told him a group of crippled puppies was coming to town and he ran as fast as he could carrying his sword and HAVE A NICE FUNERAL cards in his arms." ,answered Zelda.

"Hmm... I've got an idea! We get young Link to remind the older one one how a hero acts" ,Shouted Fox.

"That would have worked if young Link would not have been HUNG this morning for appearing like his older self." ,Said Ganondorf." If you asked me, that little punk deserved it! Always poking his nose in other peoples buiness.Always stopping my plans."

"Food good." said Kirby.

"Anyone care what this pink ball of bubble gum saids?" ,asked Ness.

"I'm not bubble gum, I'm a pink balloon." ,said Kirby"If I was bubble gum, I'd eat myself." Everyone stared at Kirby with a puzzled look on their faces.

"KIrby, did you take your medication this morning", asked Fox.

"...maybe..."

"Look we are a getting WAY off-a topic" yelled Mario."We need a plan here and -a now"

"I can give you a plan."

Everyone looked back. It was a teen with blacked hair as dark as a moonless night, a sword with the souls of a hundred warriors, a small grin that would turn Medusa herself into stone, no light could ever win in the darkness of his heart. It was the one called Shadow Link.

"We don't need plans from goth guys." said Peach.

" Funny, I always thought Goth guys looked like this." He pulled out a picture of Mario with a red mohawk, red lipstick, a black robe and black boots.

"Oh my god! It's Catwoman" Shouted Zelda.Mario snached the picture away from Shadow Link.

"Think that's my only copy? HA! Either listen to me or that picture will be on the internet faster than you can get your red hair dye."

"...Let's a hear it."

"Ok..."

"That's crazy!" shouted Zelda.

"It's the perfect plan."said Fox.

"Tommorrow the plan goes into action." Said Shadow Link with a small grin.

_Crappy, isn't it or is it good? Tell the truth. I thought It went out pretty well.The next chapter is going to be a lot funnier that I can say. Oh I forgor to mention that I do not own catwoman so don't sue! Now, I command you, write a review! _


	2. Pretty please?

_Ch 2 is now posted ,duh, If it wasn't posted it wouln't be here! Last time, the president of Nintedo deceided to seek the help of small time villian Shadow Link.I hate c.falcon. Death To CAPT. FALCON!_

_Discaimer: I do not own SSBM or Nintedo. AND I NEVER WILL!SO do not sue!_

"Ok, What do I do now" ,asked Zelda. Zelda and Shadow Link deceided to meet Link in Green Greens. That day was a partically sunny day with the birds chiriping , the tree blowing, and here came Link stomping flowers, burning trees, using birds as target practice, and destroying any other living creature that came in his way.

"Just do what I told you to do. " ,said Shadow Link from behind the giant tree.

"Take my clothes off and dance around singing _I'm too sexy",_ asked Zelda.

"Not that! The other thing", yelled SLink.(short for Shadow Link)

"Oh, Tell Link what I want to do with him late at night", Asked Zelda.

"No...the getting rid of him plan, idiot."

"You want me to tell him what we're planning? That's stupid! I'm just going to follow the script you gave me yesterday." ,said Zelda. SLink gritted his teeth and started banging his head on the tree.

"Why do I end up with the idiots " ,SLink told himself..

"Hey, I am not an idiot ! Here in America I have the right to act stupid if I want to."

"Well I've got news for you, WE ARE NOT IN AMERICA ! We are in a small tiny box that was made in Japan and then shipped to who knows where ! So you have no rights ! So quit acting stupid "

"Bastard.", mumbled Zelda under her breath.

"What you say " ,shouted SLink.

" Nothing. Now shut up ,here he comes." Link walked up into Zelda's face.

"What 'cha want " , he asked in an intimidating voice.

"Oh, Link! It's terrible", Cried Zelda.She lended on Link's shoulder. Link wasn't sure if to kill her or just let her be.

"I never heard that before." said Link wryly. "What's wrong this time "

" The rocks, the stones, the pieces, they're gone"

"The triforce "

" No! It's much worse than that. The Elements are gone"

"The Elements ? Never heard of them."

"They're very special stones that can grant the holder the power of one of the all powerful Elements."

"Really "

"_Not really, they're just rocks painted in different colors. _" mumbled Zelda.

"What"

" I said that with all the stones one can rule the whole world "

"Sounds intriging, but I'm not doing it. I have a very busy schedule, beat up Falco, throw Pichu into a well, find the little girl before I die in 7 days "

"But you must! You're the only one who can get them "

"Look, I 'm no hero, I'm sick of rescuing the world and you, and I am the most hated guy in the world now, which means people want to kill me "

" I'll pay you. "

" The answer is still no, nada , zilch , nu-uh , NOI"

"Come on what could be better than being paid to kill "

" Right now I would say, getting you to shut up."

" Please ? For me "

"Let me think , NO"

" PLEASE! Please, please ,please, please,please, please, please, please , please, please, please, please"

Link covered his ears."STOP"

"Please , please ,please, please,please ,please, please, please, please, please, please, please , please"

"Where's the off button on this thing " Link yelled while poking Zelda in her stomach.

"Please ,please, please, please,please"

"OK, OK! Just please shut up "

Zelda smiled."Thank you. Now the journey ahead will be tough and perilous, so here's your partner" A bush rattled and then out of the bush came a yellow mouse with bright red cheeks.

"Pika."

"No. I work alone ,and that's not going to change because of some dumb mouse that think's he's partner material."

"Chu." said Pikachu in a dissapointed tone. Pikachu ran and hid behind Zelda crying.

"Aww. Link you should be ashamed. Hurting a poor mouse's feelings."

"But-he - Hey, I know where this is going. You guys are trying to trick me." Zelda stood shocked. Could Link have already seen through their plan to get rid of him"I am NOT taking a stupid RAT with me."

"_Pi..."_

"What's with him " asked Link.

"_ka..."_

"What's he's doing " asked Link in an almost scared voice.

"_CHHHHUUUUUU" _A jolt of lightling came down from the highest clouds and struck Link right on target.

"AHHHHH" Link cried. By the time the electricity was gone, there was a charboiled Link curled up in a ball on the floor.

"Pika pika chu."

" O-on second t-thought I-I 'm ok w-with it n-now." said Link still on the floor.

"Good." said Zelda." The first Element somewhere in the north."

"Pikachu" Pikachu cheered. He went over to Link an tugged on his sleeve trying to get him to move."PI "

"Leave me here to die." said Link.

"_Piiii...kaaa.."_

Link jumped up and ran as fast as he could north, with Pikachu on his shoulder...on his head...on the ground...arguing with Link...laughing while Link is electrocuted... running away from Link who is speeding toward Pikachu with his sword.

_Review! You must review! Ok, confession: I will update sooner the more people review. So review if you want to find out what happens when they meet a giant Yoshi herd , have more argumments,and have plenty of stupid actions, and funny diolouge. OH no I'm talking smartly"I'm have to get the samrtness out of my brain"Eats about 6 pills found on the floor and then faints._

_"No wonder we turned out stupid in this fic." said Fox. Fox stared at the readers."umm...I guess I'll end it.This mission is now complete now on to mission number 3:find the bathroom."_


	3. Link goes crazy and stuff

_Ch.3. Not bad. I got a new reviewer! That's why I hurried and finished this chapter. Hope you like it!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own SSBM or Nintendo so quit bugging me !_

"Will you stop following me !" yelled Link. He and Pikachu were walking along a grassy plain with very wierd green tubes and golden square cubes up above their heads.

"Pikachu !" , shouted Pikachu walking closely by Link's feet.

" I don' t need you ! Go away you stupid RAT "

"_PiiiiKACHUUU ! "_ A small ,but powerful electric shock paralyzed Link and left him on the ground.

" Ok, never mind , you are a nice rat . " said Link trying to avoid another shock.

" _CHHHHUUUU! " _

" AAAHHHHHH ! " cried Link. " I mean rodent ."

" _CCCHHHHUUUU ! "_

" M-mouse. " whispered Link ,seemed like every letter was painful to pronouce. There was not a spot on Link's body that was not yet hit by electricity except his-

"_PI KA CHHHUUUUUU ! " _-never mind. Link was now cooked well-done.

" PIKACHU ! Pikachu " shouted Link praying that Pikachu wouldn't shock him again.

" Pika ." said Pikachu happily, he finally got what he wanted.

" You didn't act this way with Zelda " shouted Link.

" Pika chu pika cha pi ."

" I don't know what you said ,but I know it was insulting . " Pikachu nodded. Link sighed and tried to get up three times before he finally got to his feet without falling back or moaning out in pain . " My life has changed for the worse , I know it. " _grumble rumble growl. _Link stared at Pikachu.

" Pi , pika." said Pikachu putting his ear on his stomach , then he shook his head.

" We'll it's not my stomach! " yelled Link. _Rumble rumble, yoshi !_

" Pi "

" Finally ! You said something besides Pikachu. " said Link mockingly . " Now go get me a hamburger ."

" Pikachu ? "

" A hamburger. "

" ? Pi " Pikachu noticed something green moving behind Link.

"A burger! " yelled Link ,but Pikachu was to busy looking for the green thing again. Link sighed . " You 're worse than Navi , Ezlo ,Tatle , and the king of Hyrule put together in a huge juicy patty, with crisp lettuce , fresh tomatos , and..." By this time Link was drooling. "Mmmmm...annoying sidekicks. " He drooled some more with his tounge sticking out.

" Pi ka chu... " Pikachu walked away from Link who was now licking a rock ? Um... forget I wrote that. Pikachu sprinted up a hill and saw about a kazillion ( give or take a million) green ,purple , pink, dark and light blue, red , and yellow dinasaurs stamppeding toward him and Link. " Ch u" Pikachu screamed in terror and ran still screaming at the top of his tiny lungs . Link was on the floor drawing a figure in the dirt with a stick.

" Meet Bozo ." said Link pointing at the deformed picture which looked liked to Pikachu, a piece of pie on top of a spaceship with some sprinkles on top . " He's a better sidekick than anyone because he's quiet and he's not so bad with the ladies either ,but not as good as me. "

Pikachu stared at Link wide eyed with a blank expresion and started making a circle in the air next to his head.

" Hey, I am not crazy ! Bozo is though ...he took some pills he found on the floor. Bozo very bad . Bad Bozo . "

" Chu . " said Pikachu shaking his head in disgust . Suddendly the ground shook . The Yoshi were getting closer. Pikachu jumped and started shouting things that didn't make sense at all ."Pikachupikachupiakchu " Link just danced around his picture of his friend Bozo. " Chu . " Pikachu sighed .

" Bozo , you're my best friend , possibly even more. "

" PIka" Pikachu pulled on Link's tunic ,but was too weak to make him budge. "PI! Chu! "

" You said Pi " Link broke into hysterical laughter. The lead Yoshi were a few feet away also staring at Link which was rolling around on the floor. Link finally stopped ,after about three hours. He looked at the Yoshi who now outnumbered them by at least a million. "Barney ! "

" Yoshi , Yoshi ,yoshi ! " cried the lead Green Yoshi.

Pikachu was trying to keep the Yoshis at bay until the pill that Link accidently took wore off ,but it was not going to well. "_CHHUUUU"_ Pikachu used a thunder to get rid of about 3 Yoshis ,but there was too many for Pikachu to handle.

" I love you, you love me ..." Link was now singing.

" Yoshi , yoshi " yelled the leader . About three yoshi carried Link up to their leader. Link was still singing. " Yoshi . " Another Yoshi put Link's sword in the leaders hand.The leaders face glowed and all the Yoshis started cheering wildly. The leader ate the sword and hatched and laid an egg then ate it again . This happened about nine times. Pikachu threw up in the grass. Link's sword was finally back where it belonged, in the hands of a crazed drug-actic. Pikachu was very confused and finally caught up with Link.The lead Yoshi stopped Pikachu in his tracks and put a large golden crown wiht three bright red jewels engraved in it on Link's head.

" Yoshi ,yoshi " all the Yoshis cried . They were bowing.

" Pika chu"

" Bozo is my best friend . " The Yoshi looked at each other and then put a silver crown on Link's deformed picture.

" PIka " Pikachu yelled at the lead Yoshi.

" Yoshi . " the lead Yoshi pointed to Link who was teaching the Yoshi the chicken dance. Apparently , the Yoshi thought that Link was some sort of god . A weird chicken dancing god. Link grabbed his sword and started licking it.

" Sword tasty . Like chickens or annoying sidekicks. " said Link .

" Yoshi " yelled the leader ,all the Yoshi stopped bowing. " Yoshi ,yoshi" The Yoshi formed a giant circle around Link . Pikachu ran behind Link. " Yoshi " a large poping noise erupted sending dirt everywhere , when the dust settled there were no Yoshi to be spotted ,but millions and billions of little eggs. Link groaned and held his head.

" What the hell happened ? My head hurts and my sword seems to have a large amount of saliva on it."

"Pika chu... "

" I still can't understand you . Learn to speak english , you sewer rat "

Pikachu smiled, Link was back to his normal self. Which meant that Pikachu would have to electrocute him again and he did.

" AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! That burns! " cried Link. He found a small round item on the floor ."Ooooooo. " Link ate it.

" CHHHHUUUUUUU! " Pikachu fainted.

" Hmm...a piece of gum. " Link looked at Pikachu. " Was it something I did " Link looked at Pikachu again. He imagined a large hamburger instead of Pikachu. "Mmmmm...PikaBurger. "

_OK I know its a cliche ending but I didn't have time to think of anyhting better, I had this mountain of homework to do and then the rain messed up my internet so it took long for me to even post the chapter up. I promise the next chapter will be longer and better. I've also decieded to give you a preview of what's happening on the next chapter. Link finally finds someone that speaks english... well sorta. I should get it done in about 2 days or less . There is a secret way for me to update sooner and that is if you REVIEW!_


	4. Meet the Japan guys

_Ok chapter 4. Don't worry Link's ok ,he calmed down after a long while and now if fully recovered. In this chapter I'll be bringing in an original character and some other stuff. Since I see some frequent reviewers I will type faster than a speeding bullet..or Hedgehog...make it bullet. Last time Link went insane for no apparent reason much like I,the author,do. If you didn't read ch.3 read it now or else you won't get what's going on in the beginning of this chapter. _

_Elements found:0 (I know it's sad ,but he'll find some.)_

"Must eat...Pika . " said Link in a trance. " Eat Pika ." He stood watching Pikachu hungrily ,drooling and holding a fork over Pikachu's head.

"Pikachu... " Pikachu had awoken to the wetess of his yellow fur."Pi ? " Pikachu fully opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Link's fork within an inch of his face.

" Must eat Chu. Pika. " said Link .

"_Pikachu! "_ Pikachu zapped Link with one of his trademark Thunders. Link bounced back and collapsed on the floor .He got up cluthching his head.

"Why do you always shock me ! " , yelled Link. Pikachu shrugged his shoulders. The Yoshi were gone and Link still had the golden crown on his head.

"Pika . " Pikachu grabbed the crown.

"Hey , Give that back. The king of the Yoshi commands it! " Pikachu shook his head and put the crown on himself. " Why me ! Why do I get a Pikachu ! " He kicked one of the many Yoshi eggs. They were still in the green plains . _crinckle crack. _There was a huge crack in the Yoshi egg in fact all the yoshi eggs had cracks. " No. No. Don't tell me... " All the Yoshi eggs gave a huge pop. They had hatched. "NO! I was going to make an omlete ! "

"Yoshi !" yelled about a hundred of them . They went and charged toward Pikachu. Pikachu threw the crown back at Link. The Yoshi suddendly changed direction , they went toward Link.

"What ? I don't want it !" Yelled Link. He threw it back at Pikachu. The Yoshi went charging toward Pikachu.

"Pika Pika. " He hurrled the crown at Link's face.

" No! My beautiful face! You ruined it ! My beautiful teen magazine cover face ! Why me ! " Link starts crying. The Yoshi saw this and looked at Pikachu with a mean look.

"Chu . " Pikachu backed away and hid behind Link. The Yoshi threw eggs at Pikachu which missed him completley and instead hit Link in the face.

" No my hair ! You stupid Yoshi ,I'm going to knock you into next week! " The Yoshi looked at each other and then started throwing eggs at both of them. Pikchu ran screaming at the top of his lungs ,while Link yelled something about his hair and donuts. The Yoshi were catching up yelling what seemed to be curses. " This is a curse ! Why does everything bad happen to US ! "

Pikachu ,being faster, started to run as fast as his tiny paws could carry him away from Link. " Pi ka pi pika " said Pikachu mockingly.

" Oh no you don't ." said Link using his hookshot to latch on to Pikachu and reel him in ," If I'm in trouble , you're in trouble too ." Said Link still running from the herd of angry god-seaking Yoshi .

**The night before in the Lost Woods:**

" Drat ,Locked ." She reached into the pockets of her faded Blue jeans and pulled out a paperclip and a headband. She used the red headband to keep her midnight black hair out of her face while the misson was a go. With her selender hands her unfurled the paperclip and started picking the lock of the large steel door. Her blue eyes glisened as the full moon light shone on her as if trying to lift her off the ground and take her up. Her stolen ruby necklace firmly attached to her neck , while the wind gave a soft moan. At her back , her prized possesion , her silver sword; weaker than steel yes, but in the hands of this thief ...it's more powerful than the elemental gods themselves. The lock clicked and the door slowly opened. " "Yes." she whispered ,for she didn't want the 2 guards sleeping just a few yards away to wake up.

She walked through the door and found herself in an almost empty room ,the only thing that was there was a few dimly lit candles giving off an almost divine light .She took a step forward , the ground gave a large squeaking sound. She froze , hoping that no one heard that .

Just ouside a young red headed warrior awoke startled , " What was that ! " he shouted jumping up to the noise. " Better tell Mr. Stuck-up ." He got up and walked over to a Blue haired swordsman. " Hey, Marth , wake up . " he shook Marth.

" Roy ,no gay. " Marth said and then turned to the side. He was still half-asleep.

" What? "

" No be gay. "

" Gay ? You're sick ! "

"Well, that's not you say last night."

"...sicko. I was just going to tell you that I heard something coming from the shrine. "

Marth just stared at him. " Now who's acting gay ? " Marth now had a puzzled look. "ARGH! The place we are supposed to guard." Marth looked puzzled . Roy felt like screaming .He repeated it again in Japanese . Marth seemed to know now what was going on.

"Moose. "

" Moose? I think you mean mouse.And it sounded too loud to be a tiny mouse ."

" Go to sleep. "

" I know I heard something. "

The girl relaxed and went on to complete the mission. She walked in the shadows avoiding the light. She crept into many passagesways until she finally found what she had wanted. A large blue treasure chest was at the end of a lightless rooms. It almost seemed like the darkness could swallow you up at any moment. There were two huge statues ,replicas of the Elemental god of water himself who seemed to be guarding the chest . The teenager sudderded _ " How can anyone believe in a giant two headed fish ?" _She thought. She quickly picked the golden lock and opened the chest to reveal the treasure .

Her face lit up . Inside was about ten thousand worth of gold . She took out a small brown bag she had attached to her belt . She couldn't carry all the gold ,but she made the best of it. She quickly stuffed gold into her bag. In the bottom of the chest, something caught her eye, a blue stone. She thought for a moment and gently got the stone and put it in her own pocket not the bag. Suddenly, alarms blared . She looked around shocked . The statues **were** guarding the chest . They were to set off when the stone was taken. The teenager put her stolen goods away and ran through the tunnels and passages ways , trying desprately to find a way out before she was caught.

" Marth ! "

" Me hear too. "

" Let's go. " Marth and Roy got up and sprinted toward the shrine. The alarms were louder than ever now , breaking the silence of the dawn. They peered into the shrine , nothing seemed to be there .

She ran quickly ,but soon realized that there was no way out except the front door. A theif never makes his or in this case her escape through the front door ,but this was an emergency. She turned the corner that leds to the door and to her surprise ,meets face to face with the two swordsmen.

" Hello ." said Roy . " And where do you think you're going ? " The girl smiled.

" I'm going out of here." The teenager ran past Roy and went out the door only to be stopped by Marth.

" You know phoning no way ." Said Marth.

" Excuse me , What? "

" You knew what me say. " the girl raised an eyebrow.

" What? "

" O Phoning no way! "

" Sorry , I don't speak idiot. " She said. Marth yelled something in what seemed to be Japanese , but made the girl even more confused .

" You gave yen book now. "

"Yen? This is gold. "

"Book now! "

" Oh.. book . Okay. " The girl reached into her pocket and gave Marth a heavy book titled : English for Dummies Who Think They can Speak English ,but in Reality Speak Either Idiot or Japanese.

" What this? "

" Something you need , Idiot. " Marth looked through the book.

" You.._flips page..._give..._Flips Page... _the gold..._flips page_ back...now."

" Good job , have a cookie." said the girl. Marth chewed the cookie carefully and slowly. The girl sneaked away." Moron. "

"Marth you idiot, she's getting away ! " The teenager stopped for a moment then ran through the forest trying to get away from Marth and Roy who were closely behind.

**Back to Pikachu and Link:**

"Stupid fat Yoshi ." said Link who was running away from the mob. The Yoshi ran faster. " Maybe I shouldn't insult them." Pikachu nodded. They had now been running for more than a half-hour. They had left the grassy plains and now seemed to be running through some sort of farmland.

" Pi pi ka chu! " yelled Pikachu (obiously) .

"What? " Pikachu pointed forward. An old man was tending to his field. " Hey Pikachu, I have a plan."

"Pi ? "

Link ran over to the man. " Hi! How would you like to be the leader of your own gang of bloodthristy Yoshi ?"

"Uh..."

"Great! " Link put the crown on the man. Most of the Yoshi stayed behind with the man ,except one very stubbord green Yoshi. " Crap."

**Back to the woods:**

The girl was doing a pretty good job of running away from Marth and Roy , but she was running out time and energy ,no to mention forest. They now had forced the teen to run out of the forest , out in the open she was a goner. " Have to find a way. Can't get caught now. Especially by two gay guys. "

" Hey we are not gay ! " yelled Roy. _Shifts eyes "_ Or are we ? "

**Pika and Link:**

" Why are we running ? It's only one tiny Yoshi." said Link.

" _Pikachu! "_ Pikachu electrocuted the Yoshi and stunned him. The Yoshi then looked around and spotted a red musharoom. The Yoshi swallowed it whole a grew to the size of a house. Link and Pikachu stood there for a while confused

Finally Link yelled "Run for your life ! " The Yoshi charged and Link and Pikachu ran screaming like little girls.

" Pi ka pi! " Link looked forward . They were nearing the forest.

"Yes! We can lose this crappy version of Barney in the forest! "

**Mysterious Girl:**

" Have to run.Not a good plan ,but it's better that Jail. " She was now out of the safety of the woods.

**Link and Pika:**

**"**Ha ha ! See if you can catch us when we enter the glorious safe haven that is the forest! "

**Girl:**

**"**Who the heck is shout-" She looked forward she was about to crash into a green-clothed boy.It was to late to stop. She squinted and then she heard the wonderful sound of bone hitting bone. " Owch."

"Ow. What did I crash into ? " asked Link. He looked in front and saw and black-haired girl. " No! Don't tell me seven days are up ! "

" Watch where you're going ! "

"Me ? You're the one who crashed into me ! "

"Why I auth-a " The girl heard distant voices shouting. " Crap. The guards."

" Crap the guards?That doesn't sound right . "

"No... Um. Just say I'm not here. "

"I'm not here. "

"Immature freak."

"Immature freak."

"Stop That! "

"Stop That ! " The teen was now furious. And the voices grew louder.

" Look. We got off to the wrong start so let's start over."

"Look-" Link looked at the girl . Her blue eyes were filled with rage as she clutched her fists. Link decieded to better not risk it ." 'kay. Hi ,I'm Link."

" And I'm -"

"Look there she is ! " The shout came from the forest.

"Crap."

" Nice to meet you Crap ." Said Link.

" Shut up. My real name is-"

" Hey Green kid ! You are in possesion of a murderer ! " yelled Roy.

"M-murderer ? " asked Link to the dark-haired girl shocked.

" Hey , I didn't kill anyone ! Well, not anyone that anyone knows about. "

" Well , are you turn yourself in ? Um... what's your name ? " siad Roy in a stern voice.

" Who are you to ask for my name? "

" WE are..." started Roy.

" Oh no. I feel a motto coming on . " said Link.

"When we arrive , you better prepare for trouble. " said Roy.

" And... make it ..._looks through book..._double."

" To protect the world from devastation ."

"To unite all... people within... our... nation."

"To denouce the evils of trurth and love. "

" To extend...our reach...to the stars...above. "

"Roy ! "

" Um... I forgot what the heck my name was ! "

" Roy and MARTH-"

"Oh ,that's my...name ! "

"Idiot. As I was saying ... Roy and Marth blast off at the speed of-"

"Cookie! " yelled Marth.

" Quit interupting -Speed of light -"

"Nu -uh . Only I can go that fast. " said a blue hedgehog who seemed pop out of nowhere. " Now say it. Only I can go that fast."

"Only you can go that fast. " said Roy shocked at the sight of the blue hedgehog.

"Good ,now slap yourself. "

"What-"

"Oh, I'll do it for you. " The hedgehog slapped Roy on his cheek then ran off.

" Ok now as I was saying... Roy and Marth blast off at the speed of light- "

"That hedgehog was creppy . " said Link. Pikachu nodded in agreement.

"AAAHHH! Ok before I go on , does anyone have anything to say ! " yelled Roy. Everyone shook their heads. "- Surrender now or -"

"Pika! "

"What did you say ? " said Roy in an intamitaing voice. Pikachu ran behind Link in fright. " That's I what I thought . Surrender now or prepare to fight. "

"Um...That's right ? " said Marth. Link , the girl ,and Pikachu stared wide-eyed.

" You're not going to steal Pikachu aren't you ? " said Link.

" No , we don't want your pet. "

"Why not ? He's housebroken, he's cute , and with him in the house you never have to pay an electric bill again ! " said Link. " And if you order today you get him for the super low price of nothing ! "

" No thanks. "

" Please. "

" No. "

" The answer is still no. "

" Hey how about I pay you to have him. "

" No."

"Please! I can't take traveling with him ! He's a evil little bastard ! "

" Pi? _PIkachuuu! "_

"See What I mean ? " Link had been attacked once again.

"Eh... No. "

" So Marth up for another cookie ? " asked the girl.

"Yea ! yea ! Cookie ! "

"Ok . Count to ten. "

" 1...2 ...green...cake...7...49...purple...98...orange...elenviny...10 . " said Marth.

" Um... close enough . " She threw the cookie at Marth.

"Yay ! Cookie! "

"Anyway ,ignore my friend, he's a little loony." said Roy.

"A little ? " asked Link.

"Well ,he did go to the nut house for a while ,but then got kicked out because he pushed some crippled guy off a cliff." Link's eyes grew wide.

"He did what ? " asked Link. He couldn't belive it.

"He- oh that's not important. What is important is that you give up this thief. "

" Um..." said Link.

" We'll make it worth you while. " said Roy .

"I won't kill you. " said the girl.

"We'll pay you. "

"I won't kill you. "

"You'll be rich. "

"You'll live to see the light of another day. "

"Um... AHHH! I don't know ! Leave me alone ! " said Link burting into tears.

"So is that a yes or a no ? "

_I'll try to update soon and sorry for the wait , homework ,chores, writer block , that kind of stuff kinda made it hard to write. The next chapter will be funnier don't worry.I just had to get the whole OC thing down. Listen do you prefer short chapters I can add on every few days or so or want long chapters that I put on every week or so? Tell me in your review. Until next time Supersoniclink ( boy,that sounds corny) out!_


	5. Revenge of the Yoshi and preview of Shad...

_First of all, I can't belive I'm being reviewed from people are like the best writers in the world!I'm not worthy , I'm not worthy.(starts bowing to reviewers) Really, I thought I was dreaming when I saw some of your profiles. (trys to hug reviewers ,but Link pulls back)_

_Link: this is what happens when someone(points to SSL) eats too many sweets._

_Ok now that that's out of the way...I bet you want to know who the girl is Huh? And what happened to the Yoshi huh? And why...Never mind I'll blow it._

_Discaimer: This goes for the rest of the story:I do not own SSBM or any NINTENDO character._

Link was still crying and Marth was trying to find out how to speak the forbbiden language called English.

"Stop crying , you little green man ! "yelled Roy.

"Did you just call him a little green man ? " asked the girl who still has no name. Link cried harder.

"I don't want to be a little green man ! I want to be part of the blue man group. " cried Link ,pounding his fists on the floor.

" Keep dreaming. " said the girl.

" Shut up ,theif . " said Roy.

"You shut up. " Said the girl. Marth , Pikachu , and Link looked at her.

"No , you shut up. " Now everyone looked at Roy.

"Shut up ! " Look at girl.

"You shut up. " Look at Roy.

" No, You shut up! "(everyone looks at girl)

"You, shut up."( you should know by now.)

"I'm not shutting up until you shut up. "

" I'll shut up when you shut up. "

" Your weak scrawny voice is giving me a headache . "

"What! SHUT YOUR ..." Roy looked around. Everyone was staring at him. Could he really say **the word?** Did he have the guts , to say **the word** especailly to a girl? " "Your... Fudging mouth . " was how he answered.

Four pairs of eyes were staring at him. It was so quiet you could hear Captain Falcon singing the Barney song way off in the distance. Suddenly, everyone burst into laughter except Marth who didn't have a clue what was going on.

" Fudge? " asked Link holding his side , laughing.

" Pi ka chu! "

" Me no get, but me go along. " said Marth who suddenly joined the rest , who were laughing their heads off. Roy now was looking really annoyed. You could see his vien popping out of his forehead.

" You-"

"HA HA AHA HA "

"I-"

"HA HA HA HA HA "

"That-"

"H AHA HA HA HA HA "

**Back to Nintendo headquarters:**

" Can we really trust Shadow Link? He has a criminal record ,what if he goes againts us. " said a worried Zelda.

"He-a got rid-a of Link , didn't he ? " said Mario.

" Yes , but I still don't trust him... I think you should banish him. "

" Why? That would-a made him more prone to rebel. "

"I don't trust him being a Nintedo character... he seems too heartless. "

" Look -a Zelda I respect your-a opinion , but Shadow Links staying here. And thats-a final ! " Zelda glared at Mario and stormed out of his office.Mario made sure Zelda was gone before he said " Man , it's freaking hard to talk in an italian accent ! " The so called Mario removed his mustace and his big nose. " Why do I have to be Mario ? "

" You're the only one that is smart enough not to blow our secret. Unlike these two idiots. " said a familiar voice. It was Shadow Link , but he wasn't alone. Behind him were Ganondorf and Bowser.

" You only picked me because I'm of the Pokemon species . "

"That and your the one who didn't say "not it". " said Shadow Link.

" I told you I thought that was too childish to participate in ! "

"Whatever , Mewtwo , you're still Mario. "

" I refuse to be this italian plumber any longer. "

" Fine , we'll decide again. Not it! "

"Not it ! " yelled Bowser and Ganondorf.

" Hmm... looks like Mewtwo once again is Mario. "

" My genius should be praised , I could be teaching hobos to write, I could be reading the intire history of the world , but NO! i'm here pretending to be some midget plumber ! "

" Speaking of plumbing..." started Shadow Link as he handed a plunger to Mewtwo.

" The bathroom on the thrid floor is clogged. It appears that SOMEONE here misused the facilities. "

" Hey, I really had to go. REALLY BAD!" whined Ganondorf .

"Where's Mario? CAn I see Mario? Is MARIO okay? CAn I feed Mario? Did Mario have a girlfriend? IS- " asked Bowser before Shadow Link covered his big mouth with his shield.

"The answer to those questions in order are 1: tied up in the basement. 2.No. 3.He's breathing, and that's all that matters. 4.You already fed him five times today and its only eight in the morning!What are you fatting him up to eat him!"_Bowser nods"_ 5. Why do you want to know if he had a girlfriend ? You can't have a girl. " said Shadow Link releasing Bowser.

"I can have girls. In fact I can have all the girls I want.See those things that everyone thinks are spikes? They're really-" Mewtwo pounded Bowser with the plunger.

" I think no one wants to know the end of that statement. " said Mewtwo.

"We won't have to for long. When we are the new rulers of this company , the first thing I'm getting is censors right after I buy a gang of bloodthrishty rabid robots. " said Shadow Link as he stormed out of the room.

"Robots? " asked Mewtwo. He looked at the plunger. " Well better take care of that.What are you going to do ,Bowser?"

"Feed Mario." he said grabbing a bag of chips and other fatty foods and exiting the office.

**Back to the idiots-I mean very intellegent members of society:**

"Yoshi..." the giant Yoshi was lost ,tired, and more than anything, hungry. He had lost track of Link and the yellow mouse and was wandering around. Suddenly ,he heard the magical word , the word that gave him hope, the word that fed his soul and his stomach. Coming from the far left he heard people screaming 'fudge' and lauging. The first thing that popped into Yoshi mind was a huge bar of chocolate fudge melting in the sun ,he drooled and ran off to find the source of the magical word.

The green Yoshi searched for 600 hours (well it was really a minute, but to Yoshi it was 600 hours) ,then in the middle of the green field he spotted a group of insane food products. There was a red headed licorice whip , a blue-haired blue rasberry lollypop, a punker chocolate bar, a green jellybean , and finally a red cheecked Twinkie.

"Yoshi..." (translated it means: MMmmmmm fatty sugary sweets...) Yoshi ran to the source of the junk food.

"Come on. It wasn't that funny! " yelled Roy trying to shut everyone up , but saying this made evryone laugh louder.

"Roy, appreciate that you said something hystarical for a change. " said Marth. Suddenly ,everyone became quiet and stared at Marth.

"Marth...you spoke English and very good English . " said the girl who still doesn't have a name and hasn't had a name for nearly 2 chapters.

"Huh...siajfidsoiehoirewrihw" said Marth.

"Well that didn't last long." said Link.

Pikachu was away from the gang as he got bored of being with inferior beings for so long and he went exploring.Suddenly he heard a rustle .Pikachu turned back , there was nothing there.He went on unware of the danger that awaited him.

" Yoshi! " the Yoshi jumped out of the bushes with a crazed look in his eyes and grabbed Pikachu.

"Pika! " yelled Pikachu trying to escape the wrath of Yoshi ,but no one could escape as soon as he had them in his grasp.

" Hey where's your Pika ? " asked the teenage girl.

" My what? " asked Link.

" Pikachu . " Blank expression on Link's face. " Short yellow mouse! " Blank expression. " _sigh_ , the sewer rat. "

"Oh. I don't know. "

" Pika." Said a familiar voice behind them. They all looked back. It was Pikachu covered in some sort of gooy substance.He was covered in it and he didn't seem too hapy either.

" What happened to sewer rat ? " asked Link.

" Pika chu..."

" Yoshi? What's a Yoshi ? " asked the girl.

" Wait you understand him ? " asked Link.

" Well he either said Yoshi or something about wanting a banana. I could have been parapharsing "

Suddenly a green crazed ,hungry Yoshi jumped out of nowhere and ate up both Marth(a.k.a Lollipop) and Roy(In Yoshi's eyes:licorice whip) and like everything that comes into Yoshi's mouth out came an egg(evetyone knows where eggs come out of?_readers nod. One shakes his head. _Well ask your parents kid.)

**In the egg:**

"This...is cramped. " said Roy who was now stuck in the Yoshi egg with Marth.

"Its ...cozy. "

" Marth...you're weird. So now what do we do? " Marth opened his mouth to answer but was interruped by Roy " No Marth not that."

**Outside with the killer Yoshi:**

"Oh, so that's a Yoshi . " said the girl.

" Yeah." Pikachu ran behind Link in fear.

"Now what ? "

" PIKACHU! "

" I agree with the yellow mouse. RUN! " as soon as they tured to run the Yoshi charged . They( Girl,Link, Pikachu) were lucky, Yoshi was worn out from running so much and because of lack of food aqnd they were easily out running it ,for now.

" Stupid Yoshi! I am not food! I am Flare ,agent number-"

" So your name's Flare? " asked LInk.

" Sure as hell isn't Tinkerbell ,but must we discusse this now? "

" Why not? "

"Well, we are about to be eaten if we don't think of something. "

"Oh yeah. Too bad we can't stun it somehow. "

" Stun that's it!Link,tell Pikachu to use one of his attacks at Yoshi! "

" Yes...attacks.. " said Link_.'crap. I don't know any of this rat's attacks. um..I'll make up someting that sounds good.' _thought Link "Pikachu use your Hypersuperflamewatershot gun! " Pikachu stared and Flare too. " Ok. Use your Megahypersuperdestuctorearthquakes ! "

Same expression.

"You...don't know any of his attacks don't you ? "

" Yes I know! I...just ...um...Brained my damage?"

"Right. Pikachu...use Thunder. "

The Yellow mouse smiled and released a giant charge of electricity that sent Yoshi flying. " YOSHI YOSHIIIIII!" (translation: I will get you giant twinkie bar!) the Yoshi screamed as it was blown away.

"Phew. That was close. " said Link.

" Well maybe if you studied Pikachu's attacks we would have been saved earliar. "

"Sorry , but since Pikachu is mine that means I saved You which means I get a reward! "

"You expect me to give you a reward for that? " Link nodded. " Well..." Flare dug into her pockets and took out the blue stone she stole- I mean found. "Here have this. "

"Wait. This is the first element! Yahoo! YAhoo! "

" Was that worth money? " whispered Flare into PIkachu's ears.Pikachu shrug his shoulders.

**5 hours later:**

"Yes!YAHOO!Now where's the next one? "

"Next what ? "asked Flare while playing poker with Pikachu.

"Next one of these stones ! "

"_yawn_ I think there's one at Infinte Glacier. Some girl named Nana has it. "

"Crap...Its for the world...its for the world. " said Link walking down a dusty road along with Flare and Pikachu. To save the world they must collect the stones...but is that truly saving the world? What if there is something bigger...something bigger that anyone has ever thought of?

_Enjoy the story now? Well you'll really like when Link meets Nana . We'll finally find out what Link did to Nana. I know a lot of you who are sick minded have very sivk thoughts right now. It's not what you think...Well Next few chapters Are going to be short(I think) so they get posted sooner. Well this is a boring author note...oh well. Nothing left for you people who are reading my story now to do except...REVIEW!Review or I sic Pikachu at you. You have been warned._


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